A divorce can take a toll on almost every aspect of your life – from your finances to your friends. While it’s important to recognize that not everyone will understand or sympathize with the emotional strain you’re going through, it is possible to continue the relationships you’ve had during your marriage. If you’re not sure how to approach these relationships after your divorce has ended – follow these three tips to break the ice.
Remember that not Everyone Wants to Take Sides
While you might believe your ex is a lying, cheating, no-good dog, many mutual friends and family members might not want to see your side of things. In fact, most of the time mutual friends actually feel stuck in the middle – unsure of how to handle the current situation. If you’re trying to maintain friendships with people who were close to both of you, don’t force them to take sides in the fight.
Although some friends will be quick to voice their opinion on your ex, keep the relationship with your friend (or parent) separate from your ex – building a new relationship as a solo friend. If you’re having a hard time with establishing boundaries, sit down and discuss your feelings about the break up without getting into the negative details.
Don’t Talk Badly About the Other
Everyone has fallen victim to the latest gossip at some point in time, but your ex is not a topic you need to bring up. Avoid talking to mutual friends or family members negatively as it will often travel in a full circle back to them. Likewise, it’s important to remember that while you’re gossiping about your ex with your friends, there’s a strong likelihood that they’re doing the same with your ex about you.
Ask If Your Ex Will Be Attending
If you’ve received an invitation to a dinner or gathering, ask your host if your ex will be attending the function as well. Make sure your friends understand that you’re not comfortable being in close proximity with your ex at this time – and feel free to back out events that you know he’ll be attending if it makes you uncomfortable.
If your friends seem upset by the canceling on party or event invitations, let them know that it is absolutely nothing personal – rather, wanting everyone who attends the party to relax and enjoy themselves without feeling anxious or stressed.