Looking Backward to Move Forward: Your Future After Your Divorce

Looking Backward to Move Forward: Your Future After Your Divorce

You and your spouse are officially divorced. You’ve been thinking about this day for a long time. However, have you thought about your goals? Have you thought about where you want to be in the next 3, 5, or 10 years? Whether or not you and your spouse have children, it’s important to consider your interests moving forward.

Was there ever a time your marriage where you wish you would have taken that vacation? Ordered take out instead of cooked dinner? Went out instead of going to bed early? Spent more time on yourself and less time and energy on your marriage? Now that you’re divorced, you are in control of the decisions you make. Figure out your goals and start a new chapter, one where you don’t look back and think, I should have done the opposite.

I want to stop working full time at age ____. Figure out when you want to retire or possibly switch to part time. Set this goal as soon as you can so you can save appropriately. If you want to retire and travel, determine where you will get the funds.

I want to start a new career. Maybe you stayed in a career because it was close to home. Now you may have moved and want a new start. Figure out what kind of career you want and start searching for new job opportunities.

I do not want to work overtime. If you’re having trouble managing your finances but don’t want to work overtime, speak with a financial advisor. A financial advisor can help you better stay on track so you don’t spend beyond your means.

I want to have more free time. If you want more free time, make more free time. There’s only 24 hours in a day, but learning how to balance work with hanging out with friends and family, and spending time with yourself or children can be challenging. However, creating time for activities and people you love, including yourself, is imperative.

I want to learn how to manage my money. Do you have children? Do you owe any money in child support? Do you have debt? Do you want to go on vacation? Figuring out how to become or remain debt free can be challenging. Create a budget for yourself to learn how to better create a balance and save money.

I want to become more educated. It’s never too late to learn. Maybe you want to go back to school. Maybe you want to learn how to play an instrument. Educating yourself or picking up a new hobby can be a great way to start a new chapter in your life.

I want to resolve the divorce issues with dignity. If you and your spouse are in the process of getting a divorce, finding a mediator may be the best option for you. Mediating and reaching a settlement agreement saves time, money, and energy. You and your spouse can work together to resolve your issues. If mediation isn’t right for you and your spouse, collaborative divorce may be a better option. You and your spouse can both hire separate attorneys who represent your individual best interests. You and your spouse work with your respective attorneys to reach a settlement agreement and avoid spending months, and possibly years, in and out of the court.

I want to be treated fairly. If you want fair treatment, it’s important to give fair treatment. Treat people how they want to be treated, not necessarily how you want to be treated. Whether it’s at work, with regard to your ex-spouse, friends, family members, or children, it’s important to figure out how other people want to be treated. Speak with your ex-spouse about how you want to be treated as well. The better you communicate with others, the likely the better they’ll communicate with you.

I want my ex-spouse to be more trusting of me. If you want your ex-spouse to trust you, you should communicate with him or her. It may be challenging in the beginning to trust each other, but both of you will likely need to work on your trust issues with each other. In working on these issues, you can show your ex-spouse that he or she can trust you.

I want to be less sad. It’s normal to be sad during and after a divorce. Speaking with friends, family members, or a therapist, can better help you handle your emotions. Let yourself be sad, but also let yourself be happy. Finding a balance between your emotions is imperative.

Determining your goals and aspirations can help you start a new chapter after your divorce. You any your spouse may be forced to communicate because you have children together, or you may still want to keep in touch with your ex-spouse after your divorce. Just because your marriage didn’t work out, doesn’t mean that a friendship won’t. If one of your goals is to maintain a friendship with your spouse, figure out how both of you can work together to do that. Working on yourself can help you better develop relationships with others.

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