The way parents divorce and how they co-parent after divorce may have a significant impact on their children’s attitudes about marriage. The recent trend towards resolving divorce through alternative disputes and resolutions such as Mediation and Collaborative Divorce resolves divorces in a manner so the children do not become the victims of their parents declaration of war. The parties learn through the divorce process to co-parent effectively and keep their children as a priority. The foundation created in the divorce settlement discussions makes a difference throughout the parties’ lives and the lives of your children.
Six tips on saving your children from the devastating effects of a bitter divorce.
- Don’t start your divorce off with a declaration of war. Consider resolving your divorce with an experienced mediator or a collaboratively trained attorney.
- Do not make your children carry messages to your soon to be ex-spouse. All communications in the presence of your children should be respectful. Also, the children should not hear negative things about one parent from the other parent.
- If you have a different parenting style from that of your spouse, try to reach an agreement on how each of you will handle homework, bedtime and discipline. If you cannot reach an agreement on these and other important issues, then consider hiring a collaboratively trained divorce coach to help guide you through your co-parenting roadmap.
- Both parties should communicate regularly with their child(ren) by phone and email.
- Both parties should participate in school conferences and activities as well as work together to solve any problems the children are experiencing in school.
- Both parties should communicate with each party regarding changes in schedules, updates on health, school and activities.