Staying Out of Court and Remaining in Control: Choosing the Collaborative Way will Make you a Better Divorcee

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You fall in love, you get married. Somewhere along the line, you and your spouse can’t reconcile your differences, so you decide to file for divorce. You hear the word “divorce” and all you can think about is what you’ve seen on television and what your friends have told you. You imagine the horrors of battling your spouse in a court room. People are watching from the gallery as your attorney and your spouse’s attorney try to get each of you the best deal.

You prioritize money over your sanity. You’ve taken hours, days, weeks, off from work to attend various court proceedings. You hope that everything will be worth it but you begin to get tired of fighting. After all, that’s the reason you filed for divorce in the first place.

The judge, a stranger to your marriage, makes the ultimate decision. You think you have control. You hired the best attorney in the state. You think you’ll get everything you want. The battle becomes less about doing what’s best for you and your children, and more about getting revenge. Is the time, effort, and energy battling your spouse in court worth your happiness?

Weeks turn to months and months turn to years. Finally, you are divorced. You realize that this process could have been much quicker and efficient had you stayed out of court, and in all likelihood, a far better result would have been achieved.

You and your spouse can stay out of court.

Imagine a scenario where you and your ex don’t spend years in court. Imagine a scenario where you compromise. While this may seem far-fetched now, collaborative divorce and mediation can make compromising possible.

My Ex and I Can’t Get Along

You and your ex don’t have to get along. Hiring collaborative law attorneys can help fill the gap between you and your ex. Your attorneys can help foster dialogue, and you’d be surprised at how quickly the process moves. You don’t have to spend countless hours in a court room. Instead, you attorneys will help both you and your ex reach a settlement agreement. By the end of the process, you may be surprised the positive turn your relationship may take with your ex.

How Do I Know That I Don’t Want to Litigate?

Attend a divorce proceeding. Watch others go through a win-at-all costs battle. Then, picture yourself standing there. Picture yourself standing there day after day, year after year. Picture yourself calling out of work multiple times. Picture yourself explaining to your children why you couldn’t get them from school because you had to stay late in court. Imagine the stress you’d have to face. Imagine the toll that litigating will take on your health and well-being. Instead of imaging it, go to court and watch others face it. Litigation is time consuming, stressful, and costly. Collaborative divorce and mediation are positive alternatives that can prevent a potentially messy divorce.

What if my Ex Won’t Mediate?

Ask your ex to attend an appointment on his or her own first. A mediator is a third-party moderator who listens to both you and your ex. The mediator may agree with you on some points and with your ex on others. If you ex still doesn’t want to mediate, ask for the assistance of your friends and family members. Your friends and family members can help show him or her the benefits of choosing mediating over litigating. If mediation isn’t right for you and your ex, you still don’t have to litigate. Collaborative divorce may be a better solution.

What is a Collaborative Divorce?

Participating in a Collaborative Divorce helps to foster relationships and minimize conflict. Typically in a collaborative divorce, both parties hire their own attorneys who specialize in collaborative law. Both attorneys, along with you and your ex, sit down to reach a settlement agreement. These agreements can be reached in as little as three sessions. Thus, a collaborative divorce can help save time and money.

Your attorney still represents your best interests and your needs. However, you and your ex, along with the help of your attorneys, make decisions. In litigation, the judge makes a decision, whether you agree with it or not. To learn more about collaborative divorce and mediation, contact The Law Office of Linda L. Piff at 732-556-0240.