1. Educate yourself about different divorce options and how suitable they are for you.
Have you and your spouse discussed and agreed upon your divorce?
A. A “Kitchen Table” divorce may be for you. The words kitchen table refer to working out an uncomplicated division of assets and support at your kitchen table and then have an attorney write up the terms of the Agreement. This is the least expensive type of divorce. But it is not for everyone.
B. Mediation is also less expensive and much quicker than a litigated divorce. The parties work with a Mediator to come up with the terms of the Agreement. Often parties who mediate are able to file their own divorce once they have a signed Agreement. If there is a spouse who does not know anything about the finances or is intimidated by their spouse, Mediation is not the correct process.
C. Collaborative divorce, each party has their own attorney. The cost is approximately one third the average cost of a “mildly” litigated divorce and usually completed in six months rather than an average of 18 months that it takes to fully resolve the case once a Complaint is filed in litigated divorce.
2. Educate yourself about your future. Become familiar with your finances. Learn about how to help your children during and after the divorce process. I have introduced a reading list to my website. Take time to consider your goals for your own future, you may not be able to arrive at your destination.
3. Search the internet for matrimonial attorneys in your area. Read through their websites. Interview several attorneys. Make a list of questions to ask the attorney and jot down their answers so you can review answers at your leisure. Ask friends if they have any recommendations also for attorneys. Ask your therapist or financial advisor for suggestions.
4. Most importantly, take care of yourself during this emotional and stressful time.
