Making the decision to split from your partner is rarely easy, but it can be even more so when you share children. There ways to make divorce easier on your children by working together with your former spouse.
Agree to Remain Cooperative
One of the best ways to deal with divorce and children is to agree to remain cooperative with your former spouse. This may mean bending on certain issues, ignoring others and learning to bite your tongue at times, but in the end it will make it easier to co-parent your children.
Create a Schedule and Routines
If you are divorcing with the help of the court system, you may have a schedule of parenting time that is spelled out for you. If you don’t, creating a workable schedule will help you to avoid conflict and keep things transparent with your former spouse. In addition, the children will be comforted by routines and rituals that will give them stability and security.
Learn How to Detach
During many divorces, there are hurt feelings, anger and resentment that keeps the couple from moving on. The key to making the situation as tolerable as possible is to detach yourself from the emotions surrounding the split and think of yourself as a new entity. Your former spouse is a partner, much like a business partner or co-worker. Your new job is to work together to make life as enjoyable for your children.
Be Honest With the Children
Children have active imaginations. If you try to shield them from the fact that you are divorcing, they will start drawing their own conclusions. This can lead to emotional turmoil for the children, who may blame themselves for the divorce. Be honest with the children and explain to them what’s happening in an age-appropriate manner.
Divorce doesn’t have to be the end of the world for you or your children. By working together with your former spouse, you can make this transition easier on your children.
